it took someone who i love dearly ripping off the bandages of what i have tried to cover up for so many years
it took one person – thats all it really ever takes right?
telling me what i loved most about myself was some sort of fault
for me to finally push back
on most days, i’d close down – i’d agree with that person – i’d listen to them and internalize
but not yesterday -not TODAY + if tomorrow is given to me – certainly not tomorrow
it took a lot of time to say, this is me
i love that i am sentimental.
i love that i care deeply and wear my heart on my sleeve
i love that i believe you can love multiple people in your life time – that one love isn’t enough
i love that everything has its place
i love that everyone shows me more of something that i want to learn
i love that i can come to tears when something makes me happy
i love that receiving a text from a friend about him proposing to his girlfriend makes me feel like i can celebrate in their joy
i love that i get choked up while photographing the father daughter dance
i love that being a god mother shows me more of the woman i want to be able to exemplify for hudson
i love that my bro is the youngest with his crazy older sisters and what that means to who he will become
i love that my mom and dad got married at a young age and fought the test of time for one another and for us
i love that my bama and grandpa al like to take the long way to michigan so they can go to garage sales
i love that one of my best friends is coming down for lunch today with her daughter and that i am livies crazy aunt – i am ok with that
i love that i have tears rolling down my cheeks as i write this – because this is tough for me – i love what this moment will mean to me
i love that situations, words, music inspire me
i love that experiences, memories, time mean the everything to me
i love that it all helps me make sense of this world we live in
the thing is, i am not you – and you are not me.
our worlds have very different stories, our pasts… our future are unique…but the thing is if i like you i want to appreciate you…i want to value you.
i don’t care what that one person said – because that one person has no clue the sentiment behind the song thats filling these ears in this moment nor does that one person understand how these bright shoes empower me, that one person doesn’t understand that the necklace i’m wearing my mom gave me – means karma nor do they understand that the little girl who i carried on my back in Haiti would hold onto it everyday. and that just typing that brings tears to my eyes.
and i don’t care
this is me
i feel for the people in my life, i embrace their joys, i feel their struggles…and i subtly in my quiet voice push them everyday do be the best version of who they are.
and to be honest, i love that.