the other night i was talking to someone about vulnerability
and i realized something about myself
i’m no longer really afraid to LOVE BIG…
yes, i have always wore my heart on my sleeve, but its been used + abused…leaving me to build up walls and protect that sentimental heart of mine.
i began to build up guards to protect myself from feeling love for myself
not the romantic kind of love necessarily, but the big kind of love that you see in people who radiate happiness
as we talked, i began to recognize my strength
something happened in Haiti.
i was shown the most selfless love, a love that inspires, grows and keeps on singing loudly despite the trials and circumstances of the outside noise.
a love that is about loving people unconditionally
its a love that doesn’t expect for anything in return
its a patient kind of love
its purpose is to share the rush of happiness that it contains
i am no longer looking for someone to love me in order for me to love them
i am no longer seeking love
instead i am being love
instead of looking at love as confirmation of my worth
i am using love to show others their beauty
no longer of waiting for the one to come along and take my hand – to show me the way
i am stirring up that direction in my own heart
i am seeing love in the stranger
i am seeing love in design
in creativity there is love
i am seeing love in the way light flickers across a wall
i am finding love in the sound of music – the sweet lyrics that trigger emotion
i am discovering love in experience
instead of waiting
i am being
because i am no longer afraid to be alone – there is strength in my independence
the truth is im not alone after all and the children of child hope showed me what it means to BE LOVE and all the company that comes with that sort of thing
so if some were to ask me if i am in love….i will tell you – yes, im busying finding it all around me.
and boy, is it ever a freeing kind of love
*this beauitufl image was taken by my sweet friend caroline howard...its such a strong image for me because of what it does to my sentimental heart..it pulls me back to that feeling that was LOVE…it makes me yearn for that time and place. it inspires me to notice the gestures of LOVE that are all around us.